Decoding what the grandchildren say!
It’s hard to keep up with the grandchildren. No I don’t mean running round after them, I gave that up long ago. Nobody with 2 new hips can expect to outrun a 13 year old and a 9 year old! I mean it’s hard to keep up with this new language they seem to speak. Firstly they all talk at 100 miles per hour. Sophie (13 year old) says they all talk like that in school otherwise you’d never get a word in. Then every sentence has like in it. “It was like fantastic” says Daniel (9 year old). “Well was it fantastic or just like it”, I say. He rolls his eyes up to the heavens. “Oh Nan you just don’t get it”. He’s right, of course, each generation has their own patterns of speech and mine are sometimes just as alien to him as his are to me.
This week’s column is a beginner’s guide for us pensioners in how to speak like a teenager.
First rule, learn how to sigh heavily. A teenager’s life is just so hard that frequent heavy sighs are needed especially when trying to communicate with anyone over 40. Next you need to learn text speak. In my day LOL at the end of a letter meant lots of love, nowadays it means laugh out loud. The grandkids laughed their heads off when I texted their mum saying, “Grandad’s not too well, LOL Gran”.
It also seems that their life is so short that they have to abbreviate everything; for example “W@ U doin CUL” Means what are you doing, see you later – I just thought the predictive text had gone wrong again. Speaking of which, predictive text is a nightmare. I remember texting my daughter and saying “I have just lost a bit of hoof eating Grandpa”. Took me ages to explain it was a bit of tooth I’d lost biting on a piece of Granola.
Also there are subtle differences that I wasn’t aware of in flirting these days. When I ask Sophie if the new boy at school is her boyfriend she says, “No Nan I’m just talking to him, not speaking with him”. It seems that talking means that they are friends and speaking means that they are boyfriend and girlfriend.
Daniel came out with this cracker at his birthday. “Nan, my trabs are well sick, I’m really gassed”. I was on the verge of taking the poor lad to A&E until Sophie told me that this means his new trainers (a present from me and his Grandad) are great and he is really happy.
I have found over the last couple of years that although I still don’t understand 90% of their funny language and customs, it’s great fun learning them and it brings us closer together. Daniel was delighted the first time I finished a text to him with ttyl (talk to you later) and Sophie loves it when I like her selfies (her photos of herself) on Instagram. It’s also been useful for me as I’ve stared to explore the world of Facebook and met up online with some of the girls I used to go to senior school with, after 55 years.